socially inept.

The past 5 years of travelling, working and being part of a big staff team has been brilliant as I've never been short of having friends to chat, socialise and discuss ideas with. These were the perks of living the life in the outdoors jumping from one country to another; everyday was an adventure and there was always a social gathering of different people. After having a multitude of living arrangements from shared accommodation, tents, living in the middle of the desert, from living in a shoe-box to a mansion; I have learnt to adapt and make anyplace feel like home.

However, as of recently I have found it very difficult to 'adapt'. Looking at how we're living our life now actually leaves me feeling rather empty inside and its definitely taken a toll on my confidence as well as my motivation to work. These days my constant companions are my hubby and my laptop. My social life and work revolves around interacting with people via the internet. I am not ungrateful and I do count my blessings but there are days when I feel like packing up and leaving again. There were many reasons for us to return and start our own company but sometimes there are days that are bleak and I forget those reasons that got me here.

The hubs and I had an interesting night last night. I initiated a conversation with the hubs and spent 2 hours discussing it. I asked him: "Have I become this uninteresting boring married person? Do people find me so incredibly dull that I have very little contact with actual people (as opposed to interacting with people online!) and am no longer invited to social gatherings?" Being the loyal hubs he assured me that it wasn't the case. He reminded me how we're in a situation where we are struggling as its only 2 of us building this business and we're doing enough work to keep 10 people on their toes, money is tight, we're back living with my parents and we do have other responsibilities.

After highlighting the fact that we were broke, that we have a non-existent social life and we're still living with my parents, I was even more miserable. Then we started looking at the big picture (plus alcohol was added to the whole equation! Screw the finances for the day!) The night turned into a fun night where we met some random people and started chatting with them and then hopped on to another pub and started chatting with random people there.

I am human, I crave contact, intellectually stimulating conversations, a good laugh and a good whine once in awhile. I know things could be worse and that some people have bigger problems and some of my friends are actually struggling to put food on the table. Thing is; I'm simply looking for a little bit of sunshine in this very gloomy time.

Not looking forward to February, a month on my own with my laptop as the hubs is heading off to Oman. I know I need help when I start talking to my laptop.

................

Till then Goodnight Ms. Laptop and Mr. Internet it was so nice seeing you again. Same time and place tomorrow?